The Lie Our Feelings Tell Us
• The question “Why does God hate me?” is complex, often rooted in personal crises, mental health issues, feelings of guilt and shame, or other issues.
• Our feelings of abandonment or unworthiness do not reflect God’s love for humanity through Jesus.
• Despite our struggles and doubts, nothing can sever the unshakeable love God extends to us.
If you ever wanted to know what people are asking about life, ask Google. Sometimes the results are fascinating or, genuinely, hilarious. Occasionally, the results are heartbreaking. I found one of those heartbreaking results when I typed “Why does God” into the search bar of my browser. The number one result: “Why does God hate me?”
There’s a good chance that you’re reading this after googling this very question. And there’s a part of me that wants to answer as fast as I can, “No God doesn’t hate you” and pepper you with dozens of Bible verses that talk about God’s love for people as proof.
But, honestly, I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do. I don’t know why you’re asking the question. It’s a deeply personal question, and everyone asking has a different reason. Maybe you’re asking because you’re trying to support a struggling loved one. Maybe the person struggling is you.
What might make you believe God hates you?
I’m going to assume this is the case: that you’re asking because you feel this way. (I realize that assuming is a dangerous thing, but I’m going to do it anyway.) And if that’s the case, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happened that’s led you to feel this way. Maybe you’re dealing with some kind of personal crisis. You’ve suddenly lost a loved one, or your life has turned upside down because of a divorce. Maybe you’re dealing with a chronic or potentially fatal illness.
Perhaps you struggle with depression or anxiety, and the story running through your mind is all about your apparent unworthiness. Or maybe you’re simply overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and shame that, no matter their source, lead you to that same place of feeling unworthy of anything but God’s hatred. It could be that you’ve been taught that God won’t love you if you’re not perfectly obedient—you’ve been taught to be afraid of Him. Maybe you’ve found out that someone you thought you could trust—someone who has helped shape your faith—is not all he or she appears, and you’ve found yourself questioning everything.
I realize I could be entirely off-base. There could be something entirely different at the heart of your question. Perhaps you’re not even sure yourself. But if I’m even close, please know I am truly sorry.
The struggle is not yours alone
You are also not alone. Many of us struggle to believe that God could possibly love us. Even more of us have felt at one time or another that wherever He is, God is not with us. That He has abandoned us. Throughout history, others have felt this way, including many people Christians celebrate for how God used them to further the gospel.
Even people in the Bible felt this way. David, the great king of Israel, felt abandoned and rejected by God. “How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?” he wrote while hiding from King Saul in a cave (Ps. 13:1, NKJV). “Why are You so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?” he wrote at another time (Ps. 22:1, NKJV). Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, felt that God tricked him into his ministry because of the rejection he experienced (Jer. 20:7–8). And on the cross, Jesus, the sinless Son of God Himself, cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” as He bore the weight of the sins of the world (Matt. 27:46; Mark 15:34).
God does not hate you
But don’t read this as me telling you, “Stop feeling that way.” Your feelings, no matter their cause, are important. They are real. But they may not be telling you the whole story. (And if those feelings put you in danger of self-harm or at-risk behaviors, please stop reading this and call 911 or 988.) No matter who you are, whether you’re a Christian or you’re not sure God is real at all, here’s the truth: God does not hate you. God loves you.
Why can I say this so confidently? Because of Jesus. After all, this is the way that God loved the world: “He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NET).
That might sound trite, or even a bit overly churchy, but this is the most significant expression of God’s love for you that I or anyone else can offer. It is the way that God demonstrates His love for us, for people who are helpless—and even people who hate Him (Rom. 5:8). He doesn’t love us because we love Him, or because we’re super-great people who always do what’s right, or anything else you can think of. He loves us because He loves us—because He chooses to love us (1 John 4:19).
And if He loves us, and we love Him because He loves us, there is nothing that can take that away from us. Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ (Rom. 8:37–39). Not even the lie your feelings might be telling you.
Aaron Armstrong
Aaron Armstrong is a Marketing Director with Thomas Nelson Bibles. He is also the author of multiple books, documentaries, and Bible studies, including I’m a Christian—Now What?: A Guide to Your New Life with Christ. A Canadian living in the United States, Aaron serves at his local church as a small group leader and as a part of its preaching team. He loves to write, especially to help people grow as followers of Jesus. To learn more, visit aaronarmstrong.co.
